KATE: Have you ever wondered what the world would look like if we could opt out of the system?

BRAD: Are you drunk?

KATE: Yes, but that has nothing to do wit this. I'm talking about being stuck with no real way of escape.

BRAD: Sounds like drunken rambling to me...

KATE: You're not listening to me. What if I don't want to finish college? What if I don't want to have a neat little office job where I'm forced to fake smiles everyday and pretend like I'm enjoying my work?

BRAD: You want to be a bum?

KATE: See, you're blinded. You're so brain-washed by this whole system that you can't see past it. In your world you're either a somebody, or a bum. I'm talking about being free.

BRAD: You are free! No one is twisting your arm to stay in school or work in an office!

KATE: Are you sure about that? Some of the things that pressure us most are invisible. Sure, there's no one physically forcing me, but there's a whole society, a whole culture and system designed to make me believe that if I don't go through the motions I'm going to be a nobody.

BRAD: No, not a nobody. It's just unlikely that you'll be successful in life.

KATE: What does that mean? To be successful? Do I even want that? I don't know, but I'm sure as hell that everyone wants me to want that. I couldn't be more aware of what everyone wants me to want. To get married, to have kids, to get my Master's...I don't want any of these things. So where does that leave me?

BRAD: Leaves you drunk and rambling.

KATE: You're not listening.

Photo: Rodney Smith

Not in my wildest dreams did I ever expect life to turn to this. I thought the more control I have over my own life, the more independent I am the happier I'll be. I feel like I've reached rock bottom. Who knows, maybe it’s my hormones but some days I feel absolutely no emotions. Then there are days when I have too much and want to hit things, cry, or laugh at nothing. Today is a no emotional day. Yesterday I cheated. Didn’t really care. I had a fight. Didn’t care. I just shrugged everything off, and now I’m sitting here alone, perfectly content until my emotions kick in again. It’s very strange.

~A.