FINDING YOUR PASSION
Who do you think you are? No, seriously.Many of us are living our lives around a script and, as scary as it may sound, the person you think you are isn't necessarily authentic. There is so much that is scripted and manufactured all around us. Take our autopilot response to the question, "Hi, how are you?" I'm sure some of you have experienced the startled and confused look some people get on their face when you don't answer "fine and you?" according to your social script. We've been programmed to follow this script from the moment we were born, so it's no wonder that some of us are using our scripts to hide behind.
In order to tear the script away, the first step is to evaluate where you are in life at the present. Not just superficially, but deeply and honestly. Be truthful and kind with yourself and take stock of your achievements, your failures and how much or how little you find yourself moving to your dream goals every day. Learn to see your life clearly and not through the filter of those scripts.
I struggled as a photographer for years. Not because photography wasn't a great source of money (although there was that too), but because according to my script choosing to be an artist was a foolish thing to do. I wanted to be respected, I wanted my parents to be proud and I wanted to be financially secure and my script insisted that this wasn't going to be possible as a photographer. I spent two years studying for and then applying to law school because according to my script that was a respectable career move. In the end I found that my script couldn't stand up to my authentic self and I understood that there's nothing better than pursuing a career you feel completely passionate about.
Ask yourself, if you continue going the way you're going right now will you achieve your dream? Are you living authentically, or are you guided by the scripts you have inherited? One very good way of answering these questions for yourself is to see whether you can figure out what your authentic self is. It speaks to you in moments of optimism and excitement. You need to tune into that voice inside your head and really listen to it. This is important because your script will come in the form of a direct response to that voice. You may think to yourself, "I want to be a writer. I'm so happy when I write," and your script will respond, "Oh, but I'm not talented enough. If I try I'll probably fail, so it's not worth it." The script is like a parasite living off of your authentic self, changing it in the process.
CHANGE YOUR THOUGHT CHANGE YOURSELF
The brain is like a computer in more ways than we realize. Encoded in that small lump of matter is a computing mechanism that works to automatically generate information in the split second it takes for you to have a thought. We are programmed to look for evidence that supports the things we already hold to be true. And as a result, if on a deeper level you have come to the decision that you are a loser, your mind will gather evidence in support of that assertion. Eventually it will become a habit and your subconscious mind will lock into an auto-pilot state that continues to search for more and more reasons to believe that you are not a likable person. This problem gets worse when you start to ask your brain the wrong question. Since the mind’s job is to come up with an answer and it’s processes for arriving at that answer are heavily tainted by your biases, the answer is not always helpful to your sense of well-being. For this reason it is vitally important that you get into the habit of asking yourself the right questions. By asking, “What is it about me that repels people?” or “Why am I so unhappy?” you are only inviting the kind of answer that will reaffirm what you’ve already decided is true: that you aren’t likable, that you’re cursed with bad luck, that you’ll never find happiness. Instead you should be asking yourself, “What about the people that do like me?” and “What is the evidence against my bad theories about myself?” as well as, “What can I do today that will make me happy?” Force yourself out of the negative self-affirming habit by actively seeking evidence against the negative things you hold to be true. The powerful thing here is that by changing your questions you can change who you become. If you see someone who has more happy or successful than you the first thing you should do is ask yourself how you can model your behavior on his or hers. Find out how they think, and what kind of questions they ask themselves. When faced with another’s success, in the shadow of our own failures, a lot of us find ourselves giving in to despair. The thought, “Oh I could never do that,” flashes through our minds. We are riddled with self doubt unable to overcome the burden that is our apparent inexperience. But consider for a moment that every successful business man, doctor, lawyer, singer, writer, what have you, was once inexperienced. Even the greatest minds of all time made mistakes and had they not asked themselves the right questions and sought evidence for the right self theories they would have never attained the level of success they have today.FINDING YOUR DREAM JOB
This problem stems from the simple fact that never before has humanity seen such a spectacular degree of choices available to us. Many moons ago, our ancestors were limited by the resources available to them. They worked, married and died in the village they were born in. Their career options were limited to choosing between milking the cow, and milking the goat. Now you can literally do anything you want. These days, you can even get paid to kick back and do nothing if that’s what you really want. So, what do you want? If you’re having trouble answering that question you may be feeling overwhelmed by the universe of choices open to you and it is no wonder. First of all, you need to prioritize. Figure out what takes center stage in your life, then be realistic about which supporting role your dream job will take. For example, if you decide that spending time with your family is most important, a career as a corporate lawyer will make absolutely no sense: You’ll be living under the flickering midnight glow of the fluorescent office lights, while your wife stifles her loneliness with the gardener. Be honest, how much time are you willing to sacrifice out of your life to work your dream job? If life outside of work really gets you going then your dream job will not be very time consuming. Perhaps you may want to look into starting a business, and working from home.
There is an ocean of things that can give your life meaning; sadly, yet many of us find ourselves on the shallow end of the sea. Life can be unbearably chaotic and seemingly meaningless at times, and for those who know what I’m talking about, understanding why you’re here and what you should do with your life can feel like an impossible undertaking. My suggestion: If you want to understand your destiny you need to first understand yourself. Grab and pencil and some paper and put down everything you feel absolutely certain you know about yourself. Are you artistic? A cynic? Love to cook? Write it all down as creatively as you can, adding sketches to your words as you go. Don’t stop writing until you are unable to think of anything else to add to the list. Next number what you’ve put down in order of priority – what is more, and what is less you on this list. Now comes the really important part: Take your top ten answers and consider why you wrote them. Why do you feel that these define you more than the others? Why are these characteristics more important than the ones at the bottom of the list? Can you prove that they truly define you? Would your closest friends agree? And most importantly, what draws you to this characteristic? After you’ve answered these questions you will find a rough guide to why you were put on this planet. These are the things that will make you happy, and in utilizing them you will soon find yourself stepping out of the shallow end, and into the beautiful depths of a meaningful life.
